i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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