She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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