look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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