Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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