I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
