Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
