Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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