In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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