Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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