My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
