dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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