on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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