Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
