i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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