Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
