Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Pants are for mortals
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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