everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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