True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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