Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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