shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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