Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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