I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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