I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize