Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
