I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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