on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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