Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
