you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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