that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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