So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
