he shaved USA in his pubs
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
