Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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