You work out of a Hotel?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize