don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Quick, to the slutcave!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize