Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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