Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My brain says no but my pants say off.

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  (902): My brain says no but my pants say off. http://tfl.nu/syce
  Replies (7) Good night (5065) Bad night (719)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

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  (630): Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that" (1-630): Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/8i7j
  Replies (11) Good night (976) Bad night (2678)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5596) Bad night (1145)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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  (224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy
  Replies (44) Good night (7636) Bad night (4437)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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  (410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku
  Replies (348) Good night (44403) Bad night (4836)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

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  (910): phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever http://tfl.nu/0zmb
  Replies (19) Good night (6006) Bad night (601)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

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  (940): Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him. http://tfl.nu/o9z5
  Replies (10) Good night (932) Bad night (3456)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

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  (541): I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/tdde
  Replies (11) Good night (2819) Bad night (548)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.

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  (254): Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor. http://tfl.nu/w3ms
  Replies (8) Good night (1706) Bad night (490)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Found the puke drawer

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  (910): Found the puke drawer http://tfl.nu/lcvb
  Replies (6) Good night (462) Bad night (1706)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (1032) Bad night (578)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We can put you in charge of something

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous

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  (214): We can put you in charge of something (1-214): I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous http://tfl.nu/dlb7
  Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (294)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police

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  (334): So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police http://tfl.nu/ocot
  Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (218)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous

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  (248): Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous http://tfl.nu/u4ke
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (272)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.

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  (804): Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me. http://tfl.nu/u8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (161)

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