Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I wish my penis had an off switch

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  (586): I wish my penis had an off switch http://tfl.nu/bdrc
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (958)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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  (913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg
  Replies (14) Good night (767) Bad night (2530)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  how was the sex?

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  well, there's that.

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  (618): how was the sex? (1-618): he smelled like pickles and burnt hair. (618): well, there's that. http://tfl.nu/wrio
  Replies (22) Good night (776) Bad night (3690)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

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  (850): TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas. (407): i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful. http://tfl.nu/1iey
  Replies (32) Good night (10717) Bad night (861)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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  (506): drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure http://tfl.nu/j4nn
  Replies (12) Good night (3104) Bad night (1069)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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  (605): I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before http://tfl.nu/b07w
  Replies (12) Good night (5149) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong

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  (205): Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong http://tfl.nu/oa40
  Replies (9) Good night (5178) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4516) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.

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  (405): You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow. http://tfl.nu/0l2h
  Replies (6) Good night (3783) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her

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  (707): My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her http://tfl.nu/qrm1
  Replies (10) Good night (2234) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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  (979): Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/p1v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1774) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.

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  (604): The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this. http://tfl.nu/0j6r
  Replies (8) Good night (1789) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing

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  (661): Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing http://tfl.nu/34wv
  Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

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  (647): I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me. http://tfl.nu/s96j
  Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX

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  (602): FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX http://tfl.nu/s82z
  Replies (8) Good night (560) Bad night (199)

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