I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!