i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
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I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk