You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..