operation harelip BJ is a go
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm at about main and main street
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.