Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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