I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
