I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
