i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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