She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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