He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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