hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
3pm strippers are depressing
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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