i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
