Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
