you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
