Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
