so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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