It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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