Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
