she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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