Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
